Have you considered taking a mom timeout?

I am trying to remain calm. I am trying to remain calm. …trying to remain calm. Does this mantra sound familiar? This is about the time you might consider taking a mom timeout.

There are several uber-frustrating scenarios happening right now. All of them are outside of my control. I am SO frustrated! I can feel my chest hurting and I feel shaky inside. One of these issues came back up early this morning. I got a phone call as I was getting my son ready for an appointment. There was literally nothing I could do about it until after the appointment. While driving to the appointment, my kid was wanting to talk. It was clear my nervous system wasn’t going to be able to handle a conversation very well. 

I explained to my son that I was feeling pretty frazzled and that I needed to not talk right now. A mom timeout was in order. I quickly followed this up with the fact that I’d be happy to listen to one of our favorite audiobooks while I worked on calming down. 

This response wasn’t exactly what my kiddo wanted to hear, but after reminding him of recent examples of him getting frustrated and not wanting to talk, he accepted it. Before hitting “play” on the audiobook I did add in a heartfelt I-love-you. There’s an interesting balance between holding boundaries with your kids and ensuring they still feel safe and loved. 

I’m thrilled to say, this tactic worked! I was able to enjoy listening to the audiobook along with my son. And, somehow explaining to him that I needed to refrain from talking in the moment helped me calm down. 

…Now back home dealing with the particular issue that came up before we left the house. As I am working through this insanely frustrating situation, I am remaining calm(ish) and at least outwardly, I am using a matter-of-fact and very calm tone of voice. I don’t know if it will end up solving my issue, but so far it’s helping make headway [with customer service]. And more importantly, my chest doesn’t feel so tight. I think I will be able to walk away once I hang up, not completely wound up in knots. One can hope…

When there are hard, frustrating things to deal with, it does absolutely no good to go in with a full-guns-blazing approach. Catching “them” with honey, not vinegar is absolutely spot-on… and letting your kids know you’re dealing with frustration and need a mom timeout can help mitigate some of the impact to the family. 

Cherish yourself: When you’re dealing with a stressful situation, it’s okay to let your kids know you need a moment to process. Just remind them you love them and circle back when you’re more calm.