I don’t get it. I’ve been doing really “good” with my meditation and journaling every morning. I have been making a point to notice when I need to briefly step away from stuff when it becomes too much to deal with. I’ve been reaching out more to friends lately to both help them and lean on them because it really feels awesome and I love them. And yet, I still feel like I’m hanging on for dear life on the very back of the struggle bus. Like the very last rung to hang onto before there’s nothing more to hang onto and the emergency exit might fly open at any moment. That’s sort of a funny visual if it were all a cartoon. LOL. Anyway…
No. Actually, I do get it. But it took me a little while to get it which is kind of silly considering how tuned in I’ve been striving to be over the last 2+ years. But no, that’s not right either. It’s not like just because you’ve been focused on something and practice it a lot, you’ll never make mistakes. If I step back just a little bit and talk to myself the way I would a sister or a girlfriend, it’s obvious. So very obvious. I’ve got a lot of big things on my plate right now. Some are old, but some are brand-spankin’-new, and I’m in the throes of trying to figure out how to make it all work together.
It doesn’t really matter what the big things are, because we’ve all got really big things we’re having to navigate. Every day, all day. It’s just that damnit! I want off this struggle bus! It’s time to apply a thick layer of grace, followed by a huge helping of patience. And then repeat as much as needed. Yep. What’s the other option? Continue to beat myself up? No thanks.
But saying all of that to myself and truly practicing grace and patience are two different things entirely. I need a plan. Digging deeper into the toolset I’ve worked hard to collect and curate, I’m feeling like the following might be the most helpful right now:
- Commune with nature more. When have I not felt better after really connecting with nature? This seems like an obvious one, but I’m going to make it a real focus.
- Do something purely frivolous for myself. This one is usually hard for me, but I happen to be going to a concert for my upcoming birthday and I haven’t dared spend money on a concert in ages. Totally frivolous and fun!
- Reexamine priorities. Yeah… this one is going to be less fun, but I literally just blocked off some time later this week to focus on taking a fresh look at my priorities.
- Set some new personal goals. This is pretty closely tied to reexamining priorities, but not the same thing. I think I’m going to enjoy this part a little more than looking at priorities, because goals are things you get to work toward! Again, I’ve set aside some time on the calendar to coming up with and setting some new personal goals.
- Move more. Honestly, I feel more obliged than anything else to add this one. It’s like the most obvious one and likely the most foolproof for earning my ticket OFF the struggle bus. It’s just tough when more movement causes more pain (oh the joys of chronic pain caused by a surgery I never should have had). But that’s another blog post! Moving more is also on my calendar.
Well, that’s the list I came up with when I really let myself go quiet and focus on what I feel like I need right now. Amazing how just the act of coming up with this list felt good. Sweet! Time for the rubber to meet the road and follow through with the plan. Just going with the whole struggle bus theme… get it, bus tires are made from rubber? Heh. 🤣
To help keep me honest, I plan to do a follow-up post next week (or maybe in a couple of weeks?) to share how these things are (hopefully!) helping me exit that dang struggle bus. If you’re interested in finding out how I do, but not sure you’ll remember to check, here’s a plug: subscribe to my newsletter. 😁
Cherish yourself: When you find yourself a passenger on the struggle bus without your permission, get quiet for a moment and focus inward on what it is you’re really needing. Then make a plan to get what you need.