Okay so the title of this post is a bit misleading because we are never actually IN control, are we? I suppose that doesn’t mean we need to go around OUT of control. Out of control isn’t really the opposite of in control, is it? I guess at the moment, I just feel extra not in control. Things seem to be cropping up left and right that I’m missing or have done “incorrectly.” Or is that really the case? I need to remind myself about the role perception and hormones can play.
I have found that hormones play such a huge part when it comes to my general perception of even the simplest day-to-day things. All of a sudden, I feel like my friends are irritated with me. My family doesn’t feel like dealing with me. I am doing everything wrong. But the reality is, that’s just not true! Logically, I know this isn’t actually the case. What’s the opposite of rose-colored glasses? Those are the glasses I’ve got on right now. Get them off of me!! hah
At this moment, I am going to go ahead and give myself credit for being aware that I’m in one of these states where my perception about everything is a bit warped. It still doesn’t take away the anxiety I’m feeling, or the yucky sensation that I’m failing at all the things. But, it’s awareness, and awareness is a good first step. I’m also going to give myself credit for walking through some familiar rituals to try and reduce the impact of these overwhelmed feelings.
So far this morning I’ve meditated, I’ve put one of my favorite essential oil blends into the oil diffuser, and I’ve put on some calming music. Unfortunately, these three go-to tactics aren’t quite doing it for me, but they’re helping. I suspect previously I would have just had to go curl up in bed due to being so anxiety-ridden. Progress! Celebrate the small wins!
Being in this state is no fun and I suspect I’m not the only one this happens to. I’m going to reach out to some trusted gal pals and share what’s on my mind. Let’s see what I get back. And, as I wait to hear back, I can honestly say that just the act of reaching out helped me feel a tiny bit better.
Oh here’s a response! “Holly, I’m right there with you ♥️” Gaaah! That makes me SO happy and it makes me want to cry all at the same time. I knew I wasn’t alone in this warped reality thing, but damn it feels good to get confirmation from a fellow mama.
Speaking of moms… A piece of advice my mom has shared with me and my sisters from as early as I can remember: “Time will pass and then it will be over.” It irritated me to no end when I was a kid because it made me feel like she wasn’t acknowledging my “pain.” As an adult with my own children and a lot more life experience under my belt, I am grateful for this piece of wisdom. Mom, you were right. Are you seeing this, Mom? You were right! 😁😁
There are some situations in which no matter what you do, you just have to wait it out. Inevitably, time will pass and I will get back to feeling strong and whole, and I’ll be able to see (not just know logically) that I’m not quite failing at everything!
Cherish yourself: Feeling like you’re not doing anything right and worrying people are irritated with you? Girlfriend that is SO common and it will pass. In the meantime, be kind to yourself and remember to breathe.