I just realized something the other day. Kid playdates just aren’t what they used to be. When I was a kid (you know, before the dinosaurs roamed the earth), it was simple. I’d just head out the front door and walk down the street. I’d knock on so-and-so’s door to see if they were available to come out and play. Other times I’d just start riding my bike in the cul-de-sac and wait for neighbor kids to join.
Or, if there was a friend I wanted to hang out with that didn’t live in the neighborhood, I’d pick up the phone and call their home phone. I still remember my BFF’s home phone number! It wasn’t really a big deal if it wasn’t my friend answering either. I’d just ask to speak with them and that would be that. These days? I hate talking on the phone! (Is it just me, or…?)
It is SO not like that anymore. Now as parents, we “get” to do all the coordinating for kid playdates. And it really is quite the project. We get to be the ones to put ourselves out there and call (okay, text!) our child’s desired target (a.k.a., kid they said they want to play with). Half the time, I don’t even know who the parent is and I’m supposed to text them and ask if their kid can come over to play because my kid expressed an interest?? Then, there’s the back-and-forth to determine when the stars align so said playdate can happen. There, of course must also be a discussion about any food allergies… and if feeling extra brave (yep, I’m going to bring it up…), you ask the parent if they have any loaded, accessible firearms in the house. Times have really changed.
All that aside, there’s this overwhelming feeling of being exposed because you don’t know how the other parent is going to answer. Let alone, when or if they’re going to answer. If they say no, it’s like a double rejection. The parent is rejecting both you and your child. It’s such a vulnerable and stressful feeling! I realize I’m sort of over-dramatizing this, but by how much?
I strive to provide a bit of wisdom in each of these posts — some quick, easy-to-remember takeaway to help smooth things over a bit in a given parenting situation. At the moment, I’m not really coming up with anything specific. However; the concept I’ve been playing with recently — something I truly believe… If you put yourself out there — if you invite kids over for playdates and provide a welcoming, safe space, you will get that back for your children. The playdate invitations will come your way more. And, you’ll be on the receiving end of that brave text asking if your kid is available to play. It’s such a great feeling and worth the effort!
Cherish yourself: Remember, when taking that brave step of reaching out to another parent to ask if their child is available for a playdate with your child, you are helping clear the path for future playdates. It will get easier! Hang in there, mama!