This is not a “how-to” about having a good family vacation with kids post. Sorry. I don’t dare claim to be able to write that one. This is about getting to the end of a vacation and fundamentally feeling like you really made some great family memories. Feeling like you really connected with your kids and your partner while enjoying a change of scenery. Like one of my mom friends said a while back, “a family vacation is simply a change in location.” (Translation: The same challenges exist, you’re simply navigating them in a different location). It’s true. Though the older my kids get, it becomes less true. Thank goodness.
We are on the last day of a long weekend getaway, and I am full of gratitude! I don’t know how else to put it. I love my family and feel so grateful for all of the moments we’ve had together. Even the moments of tantrums, like when my youngest was kicking the seat in front of him in the car shouting over and over, “I’m. Hungry.” I know that sounds nuts. But, I think it’s because we were in vacation mode and it was an opportunity. Will explain that in a bit… Here’s what I believe has contributed to these joyful feelings:
Set expectations
Before we left for the trip, we talked as a family about where we were going. I read the description of the place to everyone and sat down with the kids individually to go through the pictures of the place and the amenities. We took the time to discuss what they could do, what they could explore, and about how they could experience some new things. Sharing visuals really seemed to help them get excited. For a couple of days leading up to the trip, they were both saying “mommy I’m excited about our trip.” WOW! Score.
Check in about expectations
Geez. This post seems pretty focused on expectations so far. Well, expectations certainly are important. We’ve made a point to regularly check in to see how everyone is doing, what their favorite thing has been so far, and if there’s anything they’re really feeling they want to do before we head home. We are remaining pretty flexible about plans and making some compromises as a family to ensure everyone gets their vacation bucket filled. The “expectations check-in” also seems to include a lot of attitude checks. It’s not like my kids have behaved beautifully the entire time. LOL. Yeah right! There has been the usual resistance, bickering, and hitting.
Express gratitude early and often
I know I’ve brought up this book in a previous post, but the material really and truly resonates with me. Brené Brown says in her book, The Gifts of Imperfections that “every person I interviewed who described themselves as joyful, actively practiced gratitude and attributed their joyfulness to their gratitude practice.” Gratitude really is a practice and it’s something I’ve embraced practicing regularly for the last 2-3 years. Feeling and expressing gratitude about moments during our trip just makes it feel all the more rich. And, it seems to be at least somewhat contagious. Both kids expressed more than once how much they were enjoying their independence, exploring a new place. They had big cheesers on their faces to match their gratitude!
Challenges = opportunities
At home, when a kid throws a tantrum or resists even more than the Borg could handle, it just adds a layer of stress and makes shifting to the next task that much harder. In vacation mode, when a kid throws a tantrum, or starts acting out, it’s an opportunity. Since all of us are more relaxed to begin with, and there isn’t a pile of laundry to do (that’s after I get home!) or a work deadline to meet, there’s time and space to more calmly address things.
As mentioned previously, we definitely had some tantrums. It wasn’t fun, but since we were in vacation mode, we had the time and space to discuss how the unpleasant behavior takes away from all of us having fun. It’s also an opportunity to remind the kid acting out that there are four of us in the same space, and that we need to be more respectful. This tactic worked somewhat. At minimum, it was an opportunity to help build more awareness around behavior and how it impacts others and our ability to have fun.
Build in alone time
Okay, not sure why I put this last. Maybe it should have gone first. Anyway… Family vacations are, of course, meant to be enjoyed together. But, I’d be lying if I said I could happily and gratefully spend every waking minute with my family while on vacation. Nope. Not happening. I have been making a point to take quiet time for myself first thing in the morning and throughout the day, whenever possible. Incidentally, I’ve discovered yet another amazing thing about the beach. You can sit by yourself and sing a mantra — nobody will hear! Thanks, ocean! (It really does feel amazing, I highly recommend giving it a try. This mantra is one of my favorites.) My husband did early-morning runs and the kids went exploring a bit by themselves. So, all of us getting some alone time really helped keep things sane.
So again, here I am at the tail-end of a family vacation and feeling really grateful for all of the memories we’ve created together. I am feeling so much love for my family (for the moment, LOL). But, this state of being took a lot of intentional thinking and mindfulness to achieve. The expectation-setting, the regular check-ins, mindfulness about getting alone time to recharge, etc. It all takes work, and is so worth it! Highly recommend. 10 out of 10.
Cherish yourself: Take the time to set expectations, do regular check-ins with family, build in alone time, and express gratitude throughout a family vacation to really get the most joy out of it.
Thanks! 😊😜
Thank you so much for taking the time to read!